Where for Art Thou Naruto
by Tuskafel
Summary: Naruto meets Shakespeare. The lights are on, the stage is set. Will the village survive? Uzumaki Romeo vs. Uchiha Romeo
1. Drawn from a Hat

So JadeTiger and I came up with a really mixed up Naruto fic, but have neither the time or the will power to write it. Will power being consumed by laughter. So We thought we'd still post the results. 

What if the Academy was putting on a play, to test the memory skills of its students. As a new event the people involved may make zero sense to the average reader, but we tried honest! Ever see where the actors in the play are given their roles by random? Signing a board with odd connecting lines that lead down to the roles they'll be playing. Well this is the main concept of what happened. The play: 

Romeo & Juliet

**Top 13 roles selected: **
    
    Friar Laurence (marries them) Balthasar (Romeo's servant)
    
    Escalus (Prince) Lady Capulet
    
    Lady Montague  Montague
    
    Capulet  Juliet's Nurse
    
    Benvolio (Romeo's friend) Mercutio (Romeo's friend)
    
    Tybalt (Juliet's cousin) Romeo

Juliet 

**Set 1**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence Shikamaru
    
    Balthasar   Naruto
    
    Escalus  Ten Ten
    
    Lady Capulet  Ino
    
    Lady Montague Konohamaru
    
    Montague  Sakura
    
    Capulet  Neji
    
    Nurse  Kiba
    
    Benvolio  Shino
    
    Mercutio  Hinata
    
    Tybalt  Sasuke
    
    Romeo  Choji
    
    Juliet  Rock Lee

**Set 2**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence  Kiba
    
    Balthasar  Choji
    
    Escalus  Naruto
    
    Lady Capulet  Neji
    
    Lady Montague Konohamaru
    
    Montague  Rock Lee
    
    Capulet  Ten Ten
    
    Nurse  Shino
    
    Benvolio  Sasuke
    
    Mercutio  Ino
    
    Tybalt  Sakura
    
    Romeo  Hinata
    
    Juliet  Shikamaru

**Set 3**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence  Ino
    
    Balthasar  Shikamaru
    
    Escalus  Naruto
    
    Lady Capulet Konohamaru
    
    Lady Montague  Rock Lee
    
    Montague  Kiba
    
    Capulet  Choji
    
    Nurse  Shino
    
    Benvolio  Hinata
    
    Mercutio  Sasuke
    
    Tybalt  Ten Ten
    
    Romeo  Neji
    
    Juliet Sakura

**Set 4**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence Konohamaru
    
    Balthasar  Choji
    
    Escalus  Rock Lee
    
    Lady Capulet  Shikamaru
    
    Lady Montague  Sakura
    
    Montague  Naruto
    
    Capulet Ten Ten
    
    Nurse  Ino
    
    Benvolio  Sasuke
    
    Mercutio  Shino
    
    Tybalt  Hinata
    
    Romeo  Kiba
    
    Juliet Neji

Well that takes care of the random drawings. Yes we randomly drew all those. Interseting aren't they? JadeTiger says its interesting how Naruto usually plays a role of power, but has little stage time. Except for the last set Hinata is usually part of Romeo's gang. See anything else? 

Now its time for our picks. These weren't random, we thought about these. Serious ones and Comedic ones. The serious ones are still oriented towards a possible episode (so sorta interesting roles). 

**Set 5 (Serious)**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence  Shikamaru
    
    Balthasar  Shino
    
    Escalus Konohamaru
    
    Lady Capulet Ino
    
    Lady Montague  Ten Ten
    
    Montague  Neji
    
    Capulet  Choji
    
    Nurse  Sakura
    
    Benvolio  Kiba
    
    Mercutio Naruto
    
    Tybalt  Rock Lee
    
    Romeo  Sasuke
    
    Juliet Hinata

**Set 6 (Comedic)**
    
    R&J Character Naruto Character
    
    Friar Laurence  Shino
    
    Balthasar Konohamaru
    
    Escalus   Ten Ten
    
    Lady Capulet  Choji
    
    Lady Montague  Kiba
    
    Montague  Ino
    
    Capulet  Sakura
    
    Nurse  Sasuke
    
    Benvolio Neji
    
    Mercutio Hinata
    
    Tybalt  Shikamaru
    
    Romeo  Naruto
    
    Juliet Rock Lee

Now tell us which is your favorite Set by reviewing this fic. Which isn't really a fic. But if you'd like to use this demo as a set up and write this, go for it. Just email us when you do. 

We are also aware that the formatting on this thing sucks, but FF.net doesn't recognize most of the html tags I use. 

Tuskafel & JadeTiger 


	2. Set 5 Takes Aim

Quick Sum up: For Set 5 we really had no intentions of a SasuHina fic. It was done because Hinata is the only girl from the class not fawning over Sasuke. Let us explain:  
  
  
  
  
  
SET 5  
  
  
  
  
  
A breeze from the open window carried the smell of spring flowers from the outside world, and made their clothes ruffle. The minute hand clicked away the time in the silent classroom. The class sat rigid in their seats as Iruka went to uncover the listing of the cast. No one quite sure why they were putting on this play, but most quite eager to participate.  
  
Sakura smiled widely, her plan had been perfect. She thought out her choice very carefully. 'I bet they listed the cast in order of importance. Which means the first two will be Romeo and Juliet.' Quickly following down the twists and turns of the chart, she discovered where she'd have to sign.  
  
Sasuke only shrugged and add as he was told when Sakura showed him where to sign. He'd never taken an interest in theater and didn't care what role he got.  
  
Naruto signed away, all the while imagining himself as Romeo, and Sakura his lovely Juliet. He never even considered what drawing at random could do.  
  
The list was revealed and the students quickly followed their names to their new roles. Sakura's heart leapt when she discovered Sasuke was Romeo. Then it sunk into her shoes as her name joined up against the Nurse. Suddenly struck with the realization that Ino may have gotten the part, she looked across the room. Ino was quietly banging her head against her desk. 'Guess she didn't get it either. Then who-'  
  
"Congratulations everyone!" Iruka interrupted her thoughts. "I hope you all work very hard on this and help out Sasuke and Hinata as much as you can. They have the biggest parts."  
  
Shock and disbelief took over the classroom. Hinata?! The shyest and quietest girl in the class was now the most important character in the play. Not only that, but her new love interest was the object of every other girl's desire.  
  
"Good luck to all of you. Let's make this the best performance it can be."  
  
  
  
  
  
See?! Still works as episode material. Well for boredom's sake we've decided to write a few more snipets of this idea. All from Set 5 and Set 6. 


	3. Set 6 Breaks a Leg

OK we're back for another rendition of this little comedy of horrors! I know the last one was a little short, but I can assure you that!!!.... this one will be shorter. ;) Ha ha!  
  
SET 6  
  
Naruto picks up the dusty pen from the chalk board ledge and scanned his eyes over the white sheet taped up in front of him. All the lines and squiggles made his eyes go funny if he looked at it too long, so he merely picked a blank space and signed his life away. He placed the pen back down and turned to go back to his seat overhearing part of a conversation on the way.  
  
"I wonder who's gonna be Romeo?"  
  
"Don't know. But if its' Sasuke I wanna be Juliet."  
  
"I don't think I would have the nerve to kiss him on stage in front of all those people. But I wouldn't mind the late night practice sessions. Hehehehe.."  
  
Naruto grimaced at the thought of kissing that stuck-up, pompous brat. He sat down in his seat and eyed the room around him. Most of the people were from his graduating class from academy, but there were others here from lower grades and even some that had graduated the year before him.   
  
"Romeo and Juliet eh?" he said to himself. He couldn't really remember why he was there. Something about a mission and a public service to the community. He shrugged and watched Sakura and Ino argue over to his left. They were most likely arguing about who was going to be playing the female lead role if Sasuke were to get the male role. 'I wouldn't mind being Romeo if Sakura was Juliet.' Naruto smiled thinking of all the kissing scenes he would have to practice with her. He imagined himself being such a good kisser that he would maker Sakura drop all thoughts of his rival instantly.   
  
He could see himself standing before a dimly lit balcony, amidst a bed of wild roses which cover a garden. A sword in one hand and a tunic of crimson and gold adorning his sculpted figure. A half moon hung low in the sky casting him in shadows and light.  
  
The french doors to the marble balcony opened up above him and out steeped a slim shadowed figure in a flowing white nightdress. The delicate fabric left little to the imagination.   
  
Iruka's voice drifted to his ears from somewhere on the wind. "The part of Romeo will be performed by Naruto."   
  
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, 'I'm half way there!' he thought as the figure on the balcony steeped to up to the railing. It whispered his name seductively into the cool night air. The moonlight shifted and began reveal the face of his Juliet. A soft round cheekbone; followed by luscious soft lips whispered his name again.  
  
"And the part of Juliet will be played by..."  
  
'Sakura! Sakura! Sakura! Sakura! Sakura! Sakura! Sakura!!' Naruto prayed. Seconds became minutes as everything became silent.   
  
"Rock Lee!"   
  
"NANI!!!!" Naruto's desk fell with a thud onto the floor. "NO! I quit! I won't do it!!"  
  
The entire class no longer able to contain their silent giggling, erupted with laughter. Lee who had been sitting further back with his team, stood up and addressed the room.  
  
"Hai! Hai! I will do you proud Gai-sensei! I will shine like the heavens in a dress of white gold!" He held out his fist with an air of dramatic determination and great joy. Between Naruto's screams of protest and Lee's poetics, many of the students found themselves on the floor, holding their sides and crying with elated amusement.  
  
"Iruka-sensei that's not fair!"  
  
"We all picked at random, its totally fair."  
  
"But Juliet's a girl!!"  
  
"He can wear a wig and I'm sure Anko will do fine with the costume adjustments." Naruto sagged his red face, no longer able to think of a excuses. Iruka calmly called the classroom back to order and continued announcing the cast.   
  
He cast a sidelong glance at Sakura, all those wonderful dreams erased. But instead of catching her sympathetic eyes, he caught Sasuke's mocking grin. 'Damn that bastard. This is all his fault!' Naruto nodded to himself seemly trying to convince his brain of the lie. 'If only I could make him embarrass himself, then he wouldn't look at me that way!'  
  
The Gods above seemed to take some pity on him that day, for no sooner had the thought entered his mind that Iruka announced:  
  
  
  
"Sasuke, you'll be playing Juliet's Nurse." 


End file.
